Pornography, admits Gianfranco Martínez, “completely ruined my life.”
“I wasn’t really motivated to pursue a real relationship or even talk to women because I was just getting my fix. [through porn]”, he told The Post. “It was impacting me socially, it was impacting me in my relationships.”
It also kept him from getting up in real life.
Martinez, now 22, is one of a growing number of Gen Z and Millennial men who grew up consuming Internet porn from a young age only to experience “porn-induced erectile dysfunction.”
Clinical sexologist and psychotherapist Dr. Rob Weiss has seen the phenomenon explode during his 25 years of experience running a treatment center for sex addicts in the Los Angeles area.
“Porn addiction can lead to desensitization to sexual stimuli, which can decrease arousal and lead to difficulty getting and maintaining an erection,” Weiss explained. “If my main source of arousal is constantly looking at 50 images a day or 1,000 images a day, I’m not as interested individually anymore.”
Meaning, a real couple can never live up to non-stop performances from porn stars.
Weiss said: “No one compares to that.”
A 2020 study found that 23% of frequent porn users under the age of 35 (young men who should be in their sexual prime) reported having ED with their partners.
Martinez said she experienced it when she started having real-life sex in college.
“It was pretty embarrassing,” the Texan recalled. “When he went back to my porn he had no problems, but every time he tried something [with a girl]it just didn’t work. She didn’t know what was going on.”
Chris, a 22-year-old college student who asked that his last name not be disclosed out of embarrassment, was also there.
“I feel like the porn industry took my ability to love seriously, and that’s the most desperate feeling I’ve ever felt,” Chris told The Post.
He first saw pornography at age 11, in his hockey team locker room, then went home that night and searched the internet for more.
“It was so intense that I had to find a simpler video than what was shown on the main page of PornHub; most of the things disgusted me,” she recalled. “But I’ll never forget the dopamine rush I got the first time I saw him.”
Within months, Chris said, viewing pornography became “like a ritual” that he participated in at least once a day.
He didn’t think much of it until six years later, when he had sex for the first time with a girlfriend at 17.
“In my first serious relationship, I really wanted the woman I loved to fulfill me sexually, but I needed pornography to turn me on and I felt so guilty about it,” Chris said. “My mind was so captivated by the need for intense porn at all times to stay aroused.
“Even if I cared deeply for the woman I was having sex with and loved her in every way possible, her body wasn’t enough,” Chris said. “It’s gotten to the point where the most beautiful woman could walk into the room right now and tell me that she wants to sleep with me, and she wouldn’t do anything for me.”
According to Weiss, researchers have determined that between 17% and 58% of men who self-identify as compulsive or heavy users of porn experience some form of sexual dysfunction with a real-world partner.
The 2020 study, published in The Journal of Urology, found “a clear trend” between the amount of time men spent viewing porn and taking longer to orgasm with a partner.
More porn use was also associated with reported dissatisfaction with sex in the real world.
The researchers found that the average man who reported never or rarely experiencing difficulty reaching orgasm with a partner viewed an average of just over an hour of porn per week.
Those who reported having problems most of the time consumed an average of 92 minutes, and those who had problems all the time, 111 minutes per week.
Weiss said there’s still a lack of certainty about how common the phenomenon is because researchers are just beginning to study a generation of young men who grew up with unrestricted access to Internet pornography.
While much research remains to be done, Weiss says he has counseled countless young men struggling with porn-induced erectile dysfunction: “It’s still a very new thing, but we have thousands and thousands and thousands of men saying, ‘I don’t I’m going crazy”. erections, and I don’t know what to do.’”
Peer support groups have sprung up on the internet, such as No Fap, which is run by young men for young men and has amassed over 1 million Reddit community members.
Martinez now runs a program, The Retention Formula, for men with porn addictions. He amassed more than a quarter of a million followers on Instagram after opening up about his own experience with porn-induced erectile dysfunction.
Like Chris, Martinez first encountered online pornography at age 11.
“It scared me a little bit,” he recalled. “I just stumbled upon it, and I didn’t even know what it was.”
According to a Common Sense Media survey, today’s average youth first encounters pornography at age 12, with 58% encountering it unintentionally.
“It distorted my view of what it really is,” Martinez told The Post. “When you don’t have experience, your brain can literally rewire itself to think that a video of two random people is real.”
But after having so much trouble connecting with real women, he decided to give up porn altogether. Gianfranco said that getting away from his addiction helped resolve his sexual dysfunction and took him out of his social rut.
“It changed my whole life,” he said. “I thought, wow, more people need to know about this. And I started making videos about my experience.”
Weiss says recovery for Martinez is not uncommon, and young men experiencing porn-induced erectile dysfunction should have hope.
“What often happens with these people is that when you take away pornography within a reasonable period of time, they start to become aroused again by individual situations and relationships,” the doctor explained.
More than a dozen states have declared pornography a public health emergency, and Louisiana has even gone as far as requiring proof of age to access Internet pornography.
But since access to pornography is largely unregulated, Chris, Martinez and Weiss agree that parents are the first line of defense in protecting young people.
“Parents have a responsibility to teach their children about human sexuality and pornography,” Weiss said. “I think they also have a responsibility, especially before the age of 16, to block and track the use of pornography. I wouldn’t let my son go to a drug dealer’s house, so why would I give my son permission to look at all the porn he wants?
“You’re 11 or 12 and you’re naturally drawn to sex,” Chris said of his own early experience. “The problem is not you. The problem is pornography.