You are laying all your cards on the table except one.
A New York-based influencer doesn’t mind being labeled a gold digger because she believes that men should always foot the bill when it comes to dating, as a matter of “dignity.”
Influencer Ella Freimann, 24, said she would never go on a Dutch date, believing that any man who suggests such an arrangement is not taking his role in the potential relationship seriously.
“By splitting the bill, I agree to form a connection with a man who doesn’t know his role in a relationship and expects me to be 50% of the man he isn’t,” Freimann told NeedToKnow.co.uk. “I’ve learned that men who split the bill don’t appreciate the time and effort a woman puts into herself to look her best for that man.”
“More ’50/50 [%] men don’t understand that the woman’s investment was made before the date,” the self-assured bachelor continued. “By not agreeing to split the bill, the woman keeps her dignity intact and avoids bad experiences with men.”
Friemann attributes her dating philosophy to her family and the way she grew up.
“I was lucky enough to grow up with my parents, so I had a clear example of how gender roles build the foundation of a healthy and lasting relationship,” Freimann explained. “I grew up with a providing father and a loving mother who had the luxury of raising her children and being a stay-at-home mom.”
The influencer, who posts dating advice on her TikTok and boasts an impressive 19,000 followers, said her dating rules often label her a “gold digger.”
Friemann, who is currently in a relationship, says the term isn’t a compliment per se. Rather, she says that she is a woman who does not settle for any man who does not respect her.
“The term ‘gold digger’ refers to a woman who is hungry for money,” Friemann said. “However, the term has been used for all women who decide to raise their dating standards and hope that their partner will be financially stable and support them.”
“Unfortunately, there are many men who are frustrated with their lives, they are not financially stable and that makes them deeply insecure,” added the dating coach. “Also, I feel like women should learn a few things from gold diggers, they always ask for what they want.”
Friemann drove the point home by asking: If men don’t have a problem asking for intimacy or submission from women, why should they have a problem with women asking for their own needs to be met?
For Friemann, it’s not just about the man paying for the date, but also about the type of date he takes you on.
“Coffee dates are disrespectful to women and a waste of time,” Friemann said. “It says a lot about a man’s intentions with that woman.”
“A man who proposes a date for coffee doesn’t perceive you as worth his time and effort, and is probably diversifying his money so that he can date as many women as he can with minimal effort,” the online beauty continued.
The dating and lifestyle coach also revealed that she has been criticized multiple times for her videos, but maintains that there are several misconceptions about women who just want a decent man.
“Most people think we’re selfish, but I don’t think that’s the truth,” Friemann said. “A high value woman knows what she brings to the table and expects the same in return.”
“Another assumption is [that] We don’t work or we’re lazy, but a woman with high dating standards always makes sure the man can provide for both of them, in case she doesn’t want to work,” the influencer continued. “I’ve seen women build their businesses and focus on themselves while a man supports them.”
As proof, Freimann tells detractors to look at her life and the lives of clients she helped “turn their love lives around.”
“I helped a girl who had a past of dating broke men who did nothing for her and she confessed to me that she was tired of splitting the check, being disrespected and cheated on,” Freimann recalled. “After I trained her, she was able to build her self-esteem and gain self-confidence.”
“Now she has a stable relationship in which she is fully supplied and her boyfriend founded her successful business,” added Freimann.
Another of her clients worked as a financial advisor but struggled to be taken seriously by her male coworkers.
“She works in a place full of wealthy men and millionaires, but she struggled to get the proper attention and to be approached by men who would take her seriously,” Freimann recalled. “Through various training sessions, she was able to get comfortable with her femininity and set boundaries for herself, which led to her having a group of men ready to woo her and seek her out for a serious relationship.”