DEAR ABBY: My wife and I got married 21 years ago. Since then, he has admitted to being unfaithful with 10 different men. Each time, I stayed with her, hoping she would change from her. I finally left 3 and a half years ago because she couldn’t take it anymore. She was left homeless, but for a year and a half she lives with my daughter and me because one day I saw her on the street and she looked terrible.
Now we are moving and my daughter wants her mother to get a job (she is able to get one). My ex refused to get one to help pay the bills. Now she faced another dilemma: should I let her go alone or fight for her to stay with us? My daughter is completely against her living with us. My income is limited. I am incapacitated for heart disease. My ex is 43 years old and I am 58. Can you advise me? — NO LOOKING BACK IN COLORADO
DEAR DON’T LOOK BACK: Your daughter is right. You are disabled and have limited income, and your ex-wife is not disabled. With her out of there, your expenses will be less. Nowhere in the letter did she mention that she still loves this parasite, nor did she mention if she has changed her ways. Your responsibility for her ended when the marriage ended. Encourage her to contact her relatives to find a place to stay or guide her to a shelter. But you must not only let her go, you must find the strength to insist on it.
DEAR ABBY: I consider myself a modest woman in today’s world. I have a new granddaughter that my daughter-in-law takes care of anywhere, anytime, regardless of who is around. I told my son that he should cover up in restaurants and other public places. I cringe when he just sticks out a breast for anyone to see. She is European, and I understand that it is more common there, but not so much in America. I’m exaggerating? — LOOKING AWAY IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR LOOKING AWAY: I think so. Nursing mothers are no longer relegated to feeding their babies in bathrooms like they were years ago. However, since you’re embarrassed to see your daughter-in-law breastfeeding, consider leaving the table until you’re done to preserve your modesty.
DEAR ABBY: I often find myself sitting near people who are talking too loud or constantly talking non-stop, both of which annoy me. This usually happens in restaurants, when I try to enjoy a good meal, although it also happened to me recently on a train. My seatmate was talking to the passenger across the aisle. What can be done in such situations, hopefully in a polite way? — TRYING TO RELAX
DEAR TRY: A restaurant customer can calmly ask to have their seat moved to a quieter place. On public transportation, you should have offered to give up your seat to the person across the aisle so your seatmate could continue the conversation without yelling.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
